So I am sitting here, trying to work out how to approach this subject, in fact, I am sitting here trying to work out what to even write about if I am honest, I am distracted by life and it's complications these days...
...So rather than be Captain Grumpy I am going to write about the game of the year for me 2012. That was Chivalry. The best game I've played in a long time, despite it's huge, huge flaws.
It isn't particularly original, it isn't at all well made, (more on that when I concentrate and get grumpy) but there is something about playing it that just distracts me, absorbs me and makes me care about it, I get in to the game, I want to swing that axe so hard, and thanks to a very well designed (if poorly executed) control system for a mouse and keyboard (or xbox controller if you so wish) that i can swing that damn axe right into the neck of my enemy, sending his head toppling to the ground and rolling away before arrogantly opening an ingame voice menu and unleashing a cheeky laugh, or perhaps a glorious battle cry.
So what's the catch you ask? Why am I not slating it?
It's good, it's showing very promising signs of improvement, albeit not in the areas I'd expected, the reason 1.6GB patch didn't even fix the very obvious GUI error messages you get when say joining a full server for instance, but they did add several new maps, some of which are remarkable in design and scale, with new features such as traps and fixed weapons. They added new weapons, which personally I haven't got on with, they're not particularly useful but perhaps I just need more practice.
'I'm sure that's not how it's meant to UGRGHLGLL'
Well, get to the bad points then..
Yeahhhh, OK I couldn't hold it forever, the game is buggy as Georges pants when Jamie used them as a handkerchief that week he had a cold, tonnes of graphical errors, usually resulting in laughter more than confusion, but the major problem with the game is lag, even the lowest pings still suffer what I've yet to work out as either full on server response lag or graphical lag, but with hand to hand combat and even projectiles like archery and spears, it is a serious game killer.
The second worst part of the game is the audience, being predominantly online (although it does have a fun 'bot' mode) the game is riddled with what I would normally refer to as 'Xbox-kids', now don't get me wrong, I love a good moan, and it's likely I probably have had sexual intercourse with your mother at least once this week, but seriously, the amount of snobbery encouraged by the 'vote to kick' feature is infuriating. At one time or another, no matter how long you've been playing games, you were and will be new to it; and Chivalry requires a level of finesse you will only learn from trial and error, practice most definitely making perfect. Now I agree completely that it is very annoying to be killed by a team mate you trust to protect you, but when 12 Axes are all swinging in a space no bigger than your Nan's biscuit tin, and 48 arrows are all fired at your general location to boot, it's likely friendly kills are going to occur. This happens frequently in Chivalry, and I think it should. That's right. I said it. It is an occupational hazard of being a medieval badass mofo.
'Tactical plays are rare sadly...'
Please don't confuse this with purposeful, often vengeful, attacks on a same team player. Again, sadly, a common occurrence.
The game overall is good fun with a variety of play modes, including classic Team Death Match, Free for All and Team Objectives (my personal favourite) It is a working model of it's potential future brilliance shall we say, but sadly let down by clearly inexperienced programmers. The concept is there however, and they are clearly working on delivering more and more. And as it's been in the Steam Sales twice, including a free weekend to play recently, I don't know why you haven't already snapped it up (unless you have, in which case see you on the battlefield)
Take it or leave it, I'm out.
